What’s it like to kill someone?


What's it


I belong to the vast majority of educated population in India. A majority, who love to eat meat whereas they feel pity (read scared) on see them being killed. Love the result but hate the hard work and Yes! We call ourselves advanced thinkers and compassionate killers!! Also yes! I belong to one of those, who has seen killing only from the media and definitely only the brutal ones as seen on Game Of Thrones!!

So when he asked me, Do you ever know on what’s it like to kill some one, I wasn’t sure on what to say or what to expect. He looked at my blank face. A clear blank face which was quite taken aback with the question. My mind however started racing down towards assessing him. He was not lying or scaring me. He was telling the truth. He looked like just another normal teenager who seemed to be enjoying his life. He smiled heartily. And Yes! He had a look in his eyes. A sort of calm look which only the saints had possessed! And so, just like that, he started telling me his story! A story, a just another story to you and me and yet this is his life’s tale!

I have killed someone. Some one very near and dear to me. Someone I loved and adored, my very own father. Before you judge me for what I’m and what I did, give me a minute so that I will tell you my story. At the end of it, you make a call on what you think about killing.

I was only 12 years old then. I was the only son. We belonged to the middle class and my parents still pampered me with all they had and I managed to live a life full of fun & love. I adored my parents and I enjoyed the company of my friends. Except for the occasional days when my father gets drunk and loses himself, my family was nothing short of a perfect family!

It was just another regular day, I was in the kitchen helping my mom with her cooking and my father came home. He was completely drunk. My mom was upset about it and they started a quarrel. My father grew very mad at my mom and he started hitting her. My mom started crying unable to bear the pain. I got mad at my dad and tried to stop him. His adrenaline pumped state aggravated his anger and he started hitting me very badly. I was deeply hurt and I was angry too! I just pulled a knife that was near to me and threw at him in the attempt of trying to save us. It just struck his chest and he died on the spot.

I still don’t remember the details on how it happened or what led it happen. All I wanted to do was save my mom and I just did that. I still love my father and I miss him too sometimes! I don’t feel a vengeance in my blood nor anger in my soul. To me, killing was peace. Peace to my mom and I’m happy.

PS: This is a true story of a kid who is currently 15 years old and he’s spending his life in a juvenile prison in Bangalore!

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